LuciusDickusMaximus Archive
1
/r/Teachers
Every year these kids come back with a new annoying quirk… “coin boys” are apparently the new thing
2
/r/tifu
TIFU by maybe accidentally inviting my plumber over for Thanksgiving
3
/r/tifu
TIFU by thinking the phrase was “Lame Ann’s Terms”
4
/r/tifu
TIFU by telling a Slavic tourist “we don’t allow your kind in here”
5
/r/casualiama
I am Jerrick Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadams, the man who legally added a lot of A's to my name at age 18 so I would appear first on any alphabetized list. Ask me anything!
6
/r/Spanish
Did I correctly tell my building’s super to turn the bidet water heat up to 95?
7
/r/MobileAL
Does anyone have diving equipment to borrow or any information about the June 9th I-10 bridge crash?
8
/r/TrueOffMyChest
I got so hungry at work I ate every single person’s lunch, and everyone blamed the janitor
9
/r/TrueOffMyChest
My uncle offered me a bet. If I win he will pay off my student loans. Should I take it?
10
/r/AITAH
Wife threatened to leave five star reviews saying our waitress allowed underage drinkers. AITA for pledging to never take her out again?
/r/Showerthoughts
One good thing about the wife making you sleep on the couch is the proximity to the beer in the fridge.
/r/aww
My dog Tooth catching her first meal of the day
/r/DunderMifflin
What's the episode where the warehouse guys surround Michael and push him towards the Baler, threatening to throw him in if he tells David Wallace about their poker nights?
/r/Conservative
Another A.O.C. Gaffe: Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) calls fiscal policy "physical" policy in Brooklyn speech.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer lists the apartment hallway on airbnb, and a woman stays there. George falls in love with the woman. Jerry accidentally steps on her and breaks her jaw when returning from a comedy gig. Elaine has lung surgery.
/r/Damnthatsinteresting
Lawyer Geirgius Huffins' tie is psychologically designed to make him appear more charismatic in court. He was almost disbarred for this, but he wore the tie to the disbarment hearing and it was unanimously decided that he could continue practicing law.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Elaine starts an Only Fans to pay for rent. Kramer gets a gallon of free superglue and fills small lube bottles with it to be sold. George secretly watches her content, but accidentally super glues his hand to his penis while pleasing himself. Jerry loses a bet and has to cut off his pinky.
/r/Showerthoughts
The people who cut individual rices out of gelatinous rice blocks are probably not being payed enough.
/r/howto
How do I make cologne extremely itchy?
/r/Wellthatsucks
Told my 5 year old to chop up some onions while I was in the shower. Apparently she thought my laptop was a good cutting board
/r/Showerthoughts
One good thing about the wife making you sleep on the couch is the proximity to the beer in the fridge.
/r/aww
My dog Tooth catching her first meal of the day
/r/DunderMifflin
What's the episode where the warehouse guys surround Michael and push him towards the Baler, threatening to throw him in if he tells David Wallace about their poker nights?
/r/Conservative
Another A.O.C. Gaffe: Rep. Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) calls fiscal policy "physical" policy in Brooklyn speech.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Kramer lists the apartment hallway on airbnb, and a woman stays there. George falls in love with the woman. Jerry accidentally steps on her and breaks her jaw when returning from a comedy gig. Elaine has lung surgery.
/r/Damnthatsinteresting
Lawyer Geirgius Huffins' tie is psychologically designed to make him appear more charismatic in court. He was almost disbarred for this, but he wore the tie to the disbarment hearing and it was unanimously decided that he could continue practicing law.
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld
Elaine starts an Only Fans to pay for rent. Kramer gets a gallon of free superglue and fills small lube bottles with it to be sold. George secretly watches her content, but accidentally super glues his hand to his penis while pleasing himself. Jerry loses a bet and has to cut off his pinky.
/r/Showerthoughts
The people who cut individual rices out of gelatinous rice blocks are probably not being payed enough.
/r/howto
How do I make cologne extremely itchy?
/r/Wellthatsucks