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LuciusDickusMaximus Archive

/r/UpliftingNews

Alderman who called Corona Virus a "hoax" last month tests positive for Corona Virus

/r/UpliftingNews

Man trying to steal chips from a vending machine gets arm chopped off

/r/LifeProTips

LPT: If you are going to have a child out of wedlock, say like, oh i don't know, Howie Mandel, at least have the guts to take him in as your own

/r/unpopularopinion

Howie Mandel is a criminal who should be locked up for life

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Kramer tricks George into eating his own fecal matter.

/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld

Kramer starts an insurance fraud scheme, instructing his clients to jump in front of cars. George accidentally commits vehicular manslaughter. Elaine is bothered that her boyfriend has a collection of human teeth at his apartment. Jerry starts a forest fire while trying to grill.

/r/Showerthoughts

Literacy is probably the lowest it has ever been thanks to smartphones.

/r/Showerthoughts

If you feed your kid only candy, you are seen as a fun parent, but if you teach them to read, you are seen as boring.

/r/unpopularopinion

The people who created the Periodistic Table should have alphabetized it.

/r/casualiama

My name is Tony Spegazzo. I just found a pile of letters in my attic indicating that I am the bastard son of Howie Mandel. Ama